Thursday, December 22, 2016

Hard Sun

It was cold. It still is. 

This city just keept getting colder and angrier, even though it worked its ass off  not to show itself like that. She didn't mind that, though. It was as much her city as it is still mine. To this day, we share these walls in our own different ways, I guess.
I met up with her in a hidden terrace, bathed by sunlight that made us forget it was winter. Not everything is bad in my city. And she... well, she is still the perfect example. 

I hadn't seen her in months. I was busy writing my next "thing", dying a little every day, while she was busy living. Every breath she took carried me somewhere I wanted to be, even if just for a second. Every word she spoke made me want to forget what was wrong. So I just let her talk. I smoked one cigarette after the other, and just listened and shook my head in agreeance.
Anything else would seem out of place, inconvenient even.
Like I felt.

We were both in love. With the city, and only the city. People were just an extra. An unantecipated bonus that came along with the streets we grew to appreciate in our own individual way.

And she talked. Then talked some more. I just listened.
I couldn't tell her what I was thinking. 'Cause it didn't matter anyway. 

The hours rolled away as my life rolled away in front of her eyes, without her even noticing it, not so much as a glimpse. And as the light gave way to the night that came down upon us, and we kept staying, she kept trying to convert me to life, while I just hid from her how much I was fading away in the cold city sun.
That was the last time I would ever see her. I miss her and those rare days in the city.
Times where I could forget the angel of Death held my hand every hour of the day.
Even if it was just for a few hours.

I could never share the city with no one else but her. Still can't. Maybe that's why we never saw each other again. Maybe because, after all, we are jealous of one another for loving, of being in love with the same. The city.
Always the city.

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